Using Joy to Get Started and Keep Going
I first encountered the idea that joy could be found in the things around me when a good friend gifted me Marie Kondo’s The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Although the book is chock full of practical tips on how to organize a room and how best to fold a shirt, like many people, this was not what stuck with me. The joy part however, did.
[In case you missed the memo, one of the pillar’s Marie Kondo’s Konmari method is to take stock of the things you own and ask yourself “Does this object spark joy?” If it doesn’t throw it out.]
Fast forward several years.
My husband and I bought our condo a few years ago at the height of the pandemic. As we were planning to move in, we decided we wanted this new space to bring us joy. In particular, we wanted it to invoke a sense of play and lightness, two emotions that had been in especially short supply during the pandemic.
As we began this new design journey, naturally we were cautious. We felt ourselves being pulled towards more colour, yet we weren’t quite ready to take the plunge. So we painted the backs of our closets with splashes of bright colour – you couldn’t see it on the outside, but we knew what we’d find when we opened it up. We wanted to layer in bold colours and patterns, but we weren’t sure of our footing yet, so we experimented with bright coloured pillows, which we could easily swap if we decided we didn’t like them.
These initial steps helped us to build the courage and confidence to experiment with even bolder choices: a large piece of colourful art, an eclectic gallery wall over my desk, a bold bedspread, a pink t-rex in a bathtub shower curtain. (As I write this, I’m contemplating painting the concrete beam that runs through our unit bright yellow to add even more colour to our space – see how far I’ve come?)
As I’ve immersed myself more and more in the world of joy-making, I’ve learnt an important lesson: joy begets more joy. The more I let myself lean into joy, the easier it becomes to find more of it. And oftentimes joy is lurking in the small banal everyday things that clutter my life. My colourful notebook, a fun background on my desktop or phone, a whimsical pen, a nostalgic coffee mug, all spark joy for me.
And this joy is contagious. Not only do these small objects bring a smile to my face throughout the day, they often help me start difficult tasks or sustain momentum when things get hard. I also think they help me show up more positively around others and hopefully inspire them to seek out a little more joy in their lives.
But I have to confess that I wasn’t always this ok with the idea of joy. When I first started exploring joy more and finding ways to incorporate it around me, I was worried about what people would think of me. Would the colour of my notebook or pen ink lead my colleagues and clients to take me less seriously in a meeting? Would my friends think my house looked too childish? Would my parents snub their nose at my whimsical shower curtain?
As It turns out, these doubts were also normal. Ingrid Fetell Lee, a designer and thought leader on joy explains in her wonderful book Joyful that there is “a cultural bias in Western society that runs towards sophistication, away from joy. [...] We dismiss color and joy as childish and frivolous, prizing neutral hues as a mark of coolness and mature taste.”
BOOM! That’s it right there. It turns out that the pressure to appear cool and mature wasn’t just in my head, it’s a real thing. But aside from normalizing my experience with joy, Lee’s words also left me feeling sad. How much are we all missing out on because we’re afraid of not looking cool or mature? What do we lose when we tradeoff joy for sophistication? And is it worth it?
So my invitation to you today is this:
Step 1: Assume no one is watching.
Step 2: Ask yourself: what’s one thing you do right now that would bring you joy?
Step 3: Just do the thing!
If you’re looking for ideas and inspiration, I’d recommend starting with 50 Ways to Find More Joy Everyday Guide, which is totally free.
P.S. When in doubt, choose the pen with the pink ink. 😉
